Monday, August 17, 2009

Excrement, Part Deux

When last we encountered our intrepid heroine, she was straining poop nuggets out of the bathwater with a toy fishing net, bleaching bath toys, ruining her jeans and lecturing her darling daughter on how NOT to poop in the bathtub.

Cut to Sunday night bathtime. The child is in the bath, splashing around, talking to her toys. Mama is sitting in the bathroom doorway, talking on the phone with Grandma.

Darling Daughter stands up in the tub and announces, Poop!" I tell Grandma to hang on while I check. No poop. Ellie thinks farts and poop are the same, so I'm really not too concerned. I just figure she tooted and is crying wolf. Er . . . poop. Whatever.

I go back to my conversation with Grandma. Again Ellie stands up and yells, "POOP!" I check again. No poop. This time I tell her, "Honey, you didn't poop. You just tooted. It's fine -- there's no poop in the water. Now you play while I talk to Grandma."

I go back to talking to my mom, and as I explain the situation, I tell her, "At least she listened the last time this happened. I told her the next time she had to poop when she was in the bathtub, she should tell me. Evidently I scared the beejesus out of her, because now she's telling me even when there's nothing to tell."

Mom and I go back to yakking. A third time, Ellie stands up and rather insistently says, "Mama! POOP!" This time I don't even get up to check.

"Ellie, you are FINE. There is no poop. Sit down before you fall."

This happens two or three more times, and I get increasingly annoyed with the interruptions.

After the last incident, I say to my mom, "AGAIN with the false alarm poop! I wish she'd learn to tell the difference in a toot and a poop. I keep telling her there isn't any . . . oh my god, there IS."

As I watch, Ellie scoops a poop nugget out of the water and drops it on the bathroom rug.

"Mom? I gotta go."

All those announcements that I thought were false alarms? Those were, in fact, my child trying to do exactly what I TOLD her to do -- alert me to the fact that poop is imminent. But did I listen? No. I kept telling her to sit down and be quiet. Mommy FAIL.

So, much like last time, I hose her down while the poop-water drains away. We clean up the rest of the poop, dry Ellie off and get her into her PJs, and all the while I'm apologizing profusely for having ignored what she was trying to tell me. Poor kid -- I'm sure she's probably thinking, "WTF, woman? You TOLD me to tell you, and I did. What do I have to do? Hit you in the head with a poop nugget?"

We finally get in bed, and I snuggle up with my little poopy baby, who seems to have forgiven me for my latest foible.

The moral of this story? When your daughter yells "POOP!" from the bathtub, get off the phone and pay attention.

1 comment:

  1. POOOOOOOOOOP. Peanut hasn't pooped in the tub yet but since she's still breastfed it's pretty runny. That will not be fun to clean up. At least you get pellets.