Friday, October 30, 2009

The word for today, boys and girls, is "inappropriate"

When I was Ellie's age, I had a cowgirl costume, complete with hat and fringed skirt. My mom even had my picture taken in it. And I must say, I was damn cute. But not NEARLY as cute as my little Asian cowgirl will be when she wears it this weekend.

Yes, that's right --Ellie is wearing one of my old Halloween costumes. Never mind that the belt has been chewed by mice and that there are stains that may or may not be mildew on the fake-suede skirt. She's gonna wear it, and she's gonna be adorable. Okay?! I will prove her adorable-ness with photos next week.

Anyway. I've been concerned that maybe I didn't put enough thought into this year's costume for my girl, or that maybe I'm a bad mom because I didn't ask Ellie what she wanted to be. I just saw the costume in her closet, realized that it would fit this year, and told her she was going to be a cowgirl. End of discussion.

So, even though I was really excited about her wearing my costume, I decided I'd look around on the interwebz to make sure there wasn't something better out there. This, I thought, might make me feel better about my decision to go with a costume that was basically right there, ready and waiting in our very own closet.

And all I can say is WOW. Some of the stuff that's out there is horrendous. Having seen some of these classy costumes, I can honestly say that I will be presenting myself with the Mother of the Year award later this fall. Because compared to moms who would let their kids wear this stuff? I am June Cleaver and Carol Brady all wrapped up in one big happy suburban housewife package.

First there's this little gem:Which, I might add, is out of stock on the website where I first saw it. That means there are a lot of kids going out trick-or-treating dressed as crappers. The website also suggests that it can be used as a "modern-day dunce cap" for potty-mouthed youngsters. Um, what?

Or how 'bout this one?

I don't even know what to say about this.

How old do you think this little princess is?

I have a friend who is a drag queen. Even he doesn't wear this much makeup. And according to the website, the costume's "peekaboo petticoat" is one of its best features. Lovely.

But I think this one is my favorite:

Yes, I know he should be wearing purple velvet, and the hat needs a very large feather. But still.

But at least I'm not THIS kid's mom:

I think the sippy cup really makes the outfit, don't you?

So, while I may not be the world's best mom, and my daughter may not be wearing the world's best costume, at least being a cowgirl won't put her on the therapist's couch for the rest of her life.


  1. oh. my. bob. That last one just takes the effing cake. *gulp*

  2. The potty and whoppee cushion I can handle, but the pirate dominatrix, baby pimp, and tiny Nazi are beyond words.