If you cannot obey simple traffic laws, perhaps college is not for you.

An open letter to the students of the university where I work --

Dear students,

I realize that my paycheck depends on you -- after all, if we did not have students, all of us employees would be unnecessary. I have met many of you personally, and I never cease to be impressed by you. Overall, you are polite, articulate, respectful, intelligent and fun.

But please learn to cross the street. If you do not, I will run over you with no remorse whatsoever.

Our campus has many crosswalks. Some of them are at intersections where stop signs and traffic lights dictate how you, the pedestrian, must behave, and how I, the driver, must respond. I have no problem with these crosswalks, and from what I've seen, you don't either. You seem to understand that crossing against the light is a bad idea, and we both comprehend that you as the pedestrian have the right-of-way. So far, so good.

The difficulty arises when you are using one of the many crosswalks that are in the middle of the block.

A mid-block crosswalk means that you may cross the street there if traffic permits. If I approach the crosswalk in my car and you are in it, I must not run over you. See? Simple enough.

Now let me tell you what a mid-block crosswalk does NOT mean.

• It does not mean you may walk out into traffic willy-nilly, without regard to your personal safety, the speed of the oncoming car, or its proximity to the crosswalk.
• It does not mean I must slam on my brakes to avoid hitting you, thereby throwing myself and everything else in my car through the windshield.
• It does not mean you may flip me off because I failed to stop on a dime, leaving you standing in the middle of the street until I passed.

I have no problem stopping for you when you show respect for drivers and use these crosswalks the way they were intended. But when you assume that a series of white lines on the street gives you the right to walk whenever, wherever, and at whatever speed you like, without even glancing up to see if you might be about to encounter the grill of my SUV, I am forced to conclude one thing: that you are asking for me to run your sorry ass down and leave you as nothing more than a greasy spot in the middle of the road.

If your behavior continues, I will be happy to oblige.

Sincerely,

Emilie