This, my friends, is Bling Bling Barbie. No, really. Complete with cell phone, pouty lips, excessive eye makeup, and skirt that barely covers her cootchie. I do not want my daughter to own one of these. Not now, not ever, not in this lifetime. A nice, normal, regular Barbie? That's fine. Bling Slut Barbie? NO.
Ellie has lately been introduced to My Little Pony, to which I have no objection. I'm not a rainbows-and-ponies type of girl, but whatever. I'm sure I was when I was three. If you feel compelled to grace Ellie with a My Little Pony, you go right ahead. Knock yourself out.
But please do not buy her a whorse.This, ladies and gentlemen, is a horse in high heels. It is carrying a purse. It is wearing eye makeup, jewelry, and what appears to be a mini-skirt and halter ensemble. It comes with a curry comb AND A COMPACT. It's from a line of toys called Struts. They are called "fantasy fashion model horses" with "runway magic." Really? REALLY? We now have fashion model HORSES?!
We'll be needing a pasture and a barn to go with that, mmkay? And if you could run it past the homeowner's association and get their approval, that would be great. Thanks. And yes, Susie, I'm ripping off your Facebook photos.