Ellie will soon be three, but she has the attitude of the average 13-year-old.
The most recent addition to her vocabulary?
I am not making this up.
She routinely looks at me, holds up one tiny hand, palm out, and says "Whatever." I get this in response to bedtime, bathtime, and requests to pick up her toys or put on her coat. I tried to blame my sister, who is fond of "whatever" as an all-purpose response to . . . well . . . whatever. But then I was informed by several people that I say it a lot, too. So I guess the fact that I'm raising a miniscule diva is no one's fault but my own.
Another new trick is that she now calls me out when I talk to myself. If she hears me mumbling, she says "Mama, who you talk?" More often than not, I am forced to say "Nobody." Or "Myself."
How embarrassing to be caught by the toddler holding a conversation with yourself.
If she doesn't hear something I've said and wants me to repeat it -- a favorite stalling tactic -- she also asks, "Mama, you talk me?" I was prepared for this response the other day when I asked her to put her toys away in preparation for bedtime.
But that's not what I got.
Instead, she looked up at me, cocked her head to one side, showed me her palm in classic "talk to the hand" style, and said, "Mama, you no talk me."
My not-quite-three-year-old told me -- ORDERED ME, in fact -- to stop "talking her."
Sigh. It's gonna be a long 18 years.